I just wrote this poem. Its more just a rough train of thought put in 'poem-fashion.' I was reflecting some on childhood and my general interest in flight and dance and this came out.
I believe I began to run for more
than just to be skinny
I began to run because it was the
closest I could get to flying, to freedom
I began to run porque mi mama
no quiso que yo bailara
I ran for space from the oppressiveness
of my life
I ran because it was the one thing
I could do
Running was the last drop of independence
and creativity in movement
I had left
Running was as much my savior
as it was my illness
but perhaps not
Perhaps it was a light
a quick fix to get me
through to the next thing
Like a temporary bandage
until the stitches
But the removal of the bandage,
hurt.
Friday, December 13, 2013
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
I ran today
I ran today. It was nice. Despite the phlem-coated lungs and the tired self, I went a little over 20 mins. It was the most beautiful sunny day and felt invigorating to move! My cushy new adidas shoes were great cushion and as I ran I thought 'squeeze butt, squeeze butt.' My Chiropractor would be proud, and I think she is on to something because I notice a difference from walking & running with I focus on my glutes. Hopefully its just the tip of the ice berg. For now, I'll content myself with the occasional 20 min run.
After running I did my 'tribute to the psoas' class done by Tiffany on Yoga Glo. The first time I did this class about a year ago it opened up my entire world. A body part I knew little to nothing about was/is a big part of my back pain. Yet,I have neglected to take this class regularly.
Thus...my plan is as follows; every time after I run (at least for awhile) I do my 45 minutes psoas opening class. I hope this aids in recovery and enables me to run more.
After running I did my 'tribute to the psoas' class done by Tiffany on Yoga Glo. The first time I did this class about a year ago it opened up my entire world. A body part I knew little to nothing about was/is a big part of my back pain. Yet,I have neglected to take this class regularly.
Thus...my plan is as follows; every time after I run (at least for awhile) I do my 45 minutes psoas opening class. I hope this aids in recovery and enables me to run more.
Friday, October 11, 2013
If I woke up tomorrow and knew that I could never run again...
I'd be very very sad. But I'd be ok. Its something I've gone back and forth about. While being here in Oregon I've really wanted to run but it hasn't been a possibility since, towards the beginning of my visit, I threw my low back out.
A week or so ago, in my yoga class, my instructor said to think of something you are deeply grateful for and I had to choose my ability to move and do yoga. Yes, its incredibly discouraging and frustrating to have all these set-backs, but I'm still able to go through a super intense 60 or 75 min hot yoga class or hop on the eliptical and sweat it up. I am also able to pick up my not-so-teeny nephew and spin him around, or race him up and down the street.
So yes, running may not be something I can do again,to the extent I'd like, (or maybe I will!!!) but I'm super grateful for everything else I can do.
And...one day, maybe I'll run here ;)
A week or so ago, in my yoga class, my instructor said to think of something you are deeply grateful for and I had to choose my ability to move and do yoga. Yes, its incredibly discouraging and frustrating to have all these set-backs, but I'm still able to go through a super intense 60 or 75 min hot yoga class or hop on the eliptical and sweat it up. I am also able to pick up my not-so-teeny nephew and spin him around, or race him up and down the street.
So yes, running may not be something I can do again,to the extent I'd like, (or maybe I will!!!) but I'm super grateful for everything else I can do.
And...one day, maybe I'll run here ;)
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Keeping on
I thought about our blog the other day and realized I didn't want it to go defunct. Hope, I like your idea so much, and I feel that we ongoing care we can continue the Sister's Log. And, hey, that's a lot like keeping up on your exercise routinue, no?
In that spirit, I was looking back in these past years and wanted to share a brag. The YMCA race results for the latest (last year) for my 5k:
Division: Women - 30-39
Yup, I got second place in my division. I had never placed before, so I was surprised when the following week my co-worker Shannon came in with a medal for me.
Also, another piece to share is my joining a yoga studio -- well a trial membership for a month. I have been to about 20 classes in the last three weeks. I have done hot yoga basics and then the full hot yoga class -- so sweaty. The pose that I find the most ridiculous is the (half) lotus. You lay on your belly on the mat while smooshing your arms under your body with your palms on the mat. If that is not awkward enough, you are then supposed to lift both legs in the air while your lips are squashed down on a soaked-with-sweat yoga mat. You follow me?
The best part about joining the studio, other than then natural high from unnatural body contortions, is facing a fear. I had looked into joining the studio when I moved here now years (!) ago but felt too intimidated to go. I was so nervous when I made it inside the first time, that I could barely fill out the form. I managed to start the next day in a basics class and then began to eagerly explore the options, running home after class to check the schedule for the next day. It gave me a place, outside of my apartment, where I could feel a degree of safety and consistency.
Today I will probably go to a yin class -- which, for Yoga Sol, basically consists of laying on the mat with your legs drapped over the rounded cushion and sandbags for pressure on your feet. So relaxing.
In that spirit, I was looking back in these past years and wanted to share a brag. The YMCA race results for the latest (last year) for my 5k:
Division: Women - 30-39
1. Brooke Roberts, Richmond, CA 32 0:22:11 O'All: 2 2. Ann Eberhardt, Martinez, CA 30 0:27:56 O'All: 10 3. Fina Prak, Hercules, CA 32 0:29:26 O'All: 14 4. Gabriela Ruiz de Mejia, Richmond, CA 31 0:33:07 O'All: 23 5. Heather Kulp, Richmond, CA 37 0:33:27 O'All: 24
Yup, I got second place in my division. I had never placed before, so I was surprised when the following week my co-worker Shannon came in with a medal for me.
Also, another piece to share is my joining a yoga studio -- well a trial membership for a month. I have been to about 20 classes in the last three weeks. I have done hot yoga basics and then the full hot yoga class -- so sweaty. The pose that I find the most ridiculous is the (half) lotus. You lay on your belly on the mat while smooshing your arms under your body with your palms on the mat. If that is not awkward enough, you are then supposed to lift both legs in the air while your lips are squashed down on a soaked-with-sweat yoga mat. You follow me?The best part about joining the studio, other than then natural high from unnatural body contortions, is facing a fear. I had looked into joining the studio when I moved here now years (!) ago but felt too intimidated to go. I was so nervous when I made it inside the first time, that I could barely fill out the form. I managed to start the next day in a basics class and then began to eagerly explore the options, running home after class to check the schedule for the next day. It gave me a place, outside of my apartment, where I could feel a degree of safety and consistency.
Today I will probably go to a yin class -- which, for Yoga Sol, basically consists of laying on the mat with your legs drapped over the rounded cushion and sandbags for pressure on your feet. So relaxing.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Getting Back in the groove
It has been quite awhile since I have last posted. I haven't had anything overly enlightening or inspiring to share so I guess that might be why I haven't written. But, I thought it would be fun to just share my latest routines and such!
I have been doing quite a bit of yoga lately. I LOVE Yoga Glo. It has been key to my recovery with its classes specific to runners and also just low key classes to help me to SOMETHING after work. It can be hard, when I come home after work exhausted, to want to do anything. Even if I do a very low key yoga class I feel accomplished.
I have also been doing weight lifting with Eugene! He has showed me some of the lifts he does; dead lift, squat, & bench press. I have to admit that, among everything that I do, this is probably my most challenging activity. I feel like I have to walk into a man-cave in the weights area and also feel just unfamiliar with the equipment. I have done a couple solo workouts but I have decided to try and go at least once a week and to go with Eugene (its about all we can do anyhow). That way I feel much more comfortable and can be with him while I get use to being in that space. I do hope to continue doing this kind of working out while in Oregon! I feel so strong- I went up to 115lbs for a squat on Sunday! :-)
Running!! I am running about three days a week. Last week I felt like I needed a little break- I ran a total of about 6 miles (my average weekly mileage is 7-8 miles). Joy's most recent post was a good reminder to KEEP listening to my body to avoid injury. I have a new funny feeling in my body and am trying to make sure I take care of it and don't over do it (its calve-calf? related). Yesterday I ran four miles!! I am really loving developing my new relationship with movement. I feel like its an old friend that I had been distant from in awhile and am now getting to know it again with a new perspective. For instance, I use to HATE doing much speed work. It actually made me anxious. But now I find myself wanting to just GO and I do a lot of it (I think that is thanks to the strengthening)- and I don't see it as work but rather as a moment to run free, to fly.
That is the jist of my active activity (with a little Jazz and other dance every now and again).
I really appreciate this blog and also just conversations with you both about exercise. I feel so lucky to have you both and Eugene in my life that love movement. I is continually encouraging.
Keep up the good work my lovelies!!!
PS: here is a fun and goofy picture of me pretending to do yoga at the forest preserve in Oregon :-)
I have been doing quite a bit of yoga lately. I LOVE Yoga Glo. It has been key to my recovery with its classes specific to runners and also just low key classes to help me to SOMETHING after work. It can be hard, when I come home after work exhausted, to want to do anything. Even if I do a very low key yoga class I feel accomplished.
I have also been doing weight lifting with Eugene! He has showed me some of the lifts he does; dead lift, squat, & bench press. I have to admit that, among everything that I do, this is probably my most challenging activity. I feel like I have to walk into a man-cave in the weights area and also feel just unfamiliar with the equipment. I have done a couple solo workouts but I have decided to try and go at least once a week and to go with Eugene (its about all we can do anyhow). That way I feel much more comfortable and can be with him while I get use to being in that space. I do hope to continue doing this kind of working out while in Oregon! I feel so strong- I went up to 115lbs for a squat on Sunday! :-)
Running!! I am running about three days a week. Last week I felt like I needed a little break- I ran a total of about 6 miles (my average weekly mileage is 7-8 miles). Joy's most recent post was a good reminder to KEEP listening to my body to avoid injury. I have a new funny feeling in my body and am trying to make sure I take care of it and don't over do it (its calve-calf? related). Yesterday I ran four miles!! I am really loving developing my new relationship with movement. I feel like its an old friend that I had been distant from in awhile and am now getting to know it again with a new perspective. For instance, I use to HATE doing much speed work. It actually made me anxious. But now I find myself wanting to just GO and I do a lot of it (I think that is thanks to the strengthening)- and I don't see it as work but rather as a moment to run free, to fly.
That is the jist of my active activity (with a little Jazz and other dance every now and again).
I really appreciate this blog and also just conversations with you both about exercise. I feel so lucky to have you both and Eugene in my life that love movement. I is continually encouraging.
Keep up the good work my lovelies!!!
PS: here is a fun and goofy picture of me pretending to do yoga at the forest preserve in Oregon :-)
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Bum knee
Yesterday I laced up for a run. I'd been waiting to run all day. With Luke's brother Marc visiting, my run had been delayed until after lunch. Finally, I thought as I left the house, I'm getting out. I eased into a gentle pace and a twinge hit me in my left hip. I crossed the street to remove myself from seeing eyes and stretched. I used the stretches you taught me, Hope, in Mexico. After a moment I tried again. Same twinge of pain, same place, same pause for stretching. I felt silly as a couple passed me for the second time stretching during my halted run. After walking a couple blocks, I tried one last time. The tightness didn't ease up and I quickly slowed to a gentle walk.
The day was beautiful. Thankfully, I remembered your advice Hope about listening to your body. I thanked myself for getting out and enjoyed the leaves murmuring in the breeze as the sun tickled my neck. I hobbled slightly walking and realized the treasure of mobility I take so often for granted. I headed home.
Popping into the living room, I started up my strength training DVD by Petra. Tian tried joining me briefly but thankfully Luke took him out front so they could watch me from the porch. Tian turned around on the bench and watched his mommy pick up 5lb weights and lunge and squat and lunge and squat. Thankfully, my hip felt fine. I'm not sure why the difference. I managed a 65 minute work up without pain. My sweaty tired body thanked me afterwards. I felt strong and content.
I feel like I've learned so much from you, Hope, listening to your struggle with your hip. I hope none of us have troubles in the future but we probably will. Hopefully we can always find ways to be active.
When you can't run, pick up weights and squat! :)
The day was beautiful. Thankfully, I remembered your advice Hope about listening to your body. I thanked myself for getting out and enjoyed the leaves murmuring in the breeze as the sun tickled my neck. I hobbled slightly walking and realized the treasure of mobility I take so often for granted. I headed home.
Popping into the living room, I started up my strength training DVD by Petra. Tian tried joining me briefly but thankfully Luke took him out front so they could watch me from the porch. Tian turned around on the bench and watched his mommy pick up 5lb weights and lunge and squat and lunge and squat. Thankfully, my hip felt fine. I'm not sure why the difference. I managed a 65 minute work up without pain. My sweaty tired body thanked me afterwards. I felt strong and content.
I feel like I've learned so much from you, Hope, listening to your struggle with your hip. I hope none of us have troubles in the future but we probably will. Hopefully we can always find ways to be active.
When you can't run, pick up weights and squat! :)
Location:Portland, OR
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
What a BEAUtiful day!
My friend Cassie told me about a Nike app for running last week during out skype date. She got me really excited to try it because she has also had issues with her knee. She inspired me since she said she has been feeling so much better and has been using the Nike App to help.
Today I went out for my second run with the app! After doing a short 20 min yoga glo warm up I laced up, grabbed both door and gate key, ipod and sunglasses, and headed out to Mountain.
The app does this little countdown "Start run in 3...2...1!" The morning was chilly, perfect for running because even if you warm up you wont over heat. I've been working hard on paying close attention to my stride and making sure I 'follow through' and use both legs equally.
I can tell I'm still getting back into the groove because I started out like those newbies we used to run with Ann! All fast (faster than a 10 min/mi pace) and so I made sure to slow it down.
I went a similar route that we ran on when you were here Ann! Joy- I live under a mile from this awesome river trail! So I ran up there today and crossed this bridge (I think its the bridge we used to called "The Bridge the Tarabithia") and ran down to campbell, crossed the major bridge and headed back.
This whole time I felt pretty great. I realized at one point that neither my low back nor my hip was bothering me, I only had a slight tightness in my left knee.
On the return loop I was feeling super amped and really wanted to just run fast! I have been running so much on the treadmill its just not the same to sprint on a treadmill as it is outside. So, I hit the "powersong" button on my Nike app (you can choose these songs to really get you going when you need/want it!) I was excited when "My Life Would Suck Without you" by Kelly Clarkson came up.
You know that feeling you get when you're having a good run? Your legs are bouncing and you are just moving through space smoothly? Like you're flying! It was fantastic! I ended up sprinting/running fast about four different times. My lungs definitely aren't at what they were a few years back when I was running further and faster but it felt like freedom, like flight! I finished my run 2.66 miles in 27.28 mins. not my fastest time ever and definitely not my furthest distance ever but still one of my most memorable runs. A run that make me think again "Oh! I'm a runner!"
It feels good to be back! (and I hope I stay back!)
PS: I'm not saying the Nike app is the reason I had a great run, rather it was just part of my experience!
Today I went out for my second run with the app! After doing a short 20 min yoga glo warm up I laced up, grabbed both door and gate key, ipod and sunglasses, and headed out to Mountain.
The app does this little countdown "Start run in 3...2...1!" The morning was chilly, perfect for running because even if you warm up you wont over heat. I've been working hard on paying close attention to my stride and making sure I 'follow through' and use both legs equally.
I can tell I'm still getting back into the groove because I started out like those newbies we used to run with Ann! All fast (faster than a 10 min/mi pace) and so I made sure to slow it down.
I went a similar route that we ran on when you were here Ann! Joy- I live under a mile from this awesome river trail! So I ran up there today and crossed this bridge (I think its the bridge we used to called "The Bridge the Tarabithia") and ran down to campbell, crossed the major bridge and headed back.
This whole time I felt pretty great. I realized at one point that neither my low back nor my hip was bothering me, I only had a slight tightness in my left knee.
On the return loop I was feeling super amped and really wanted to just run fast! I have been running so much on the treadmill its just not the same to sprint on a treadmill as it is outside. So, I hit the "powersong" button on my Nike app (you can choose these songs to really get you going when you need/want it!) I was excited when "My Life Would Suck Without you" by Kelly Clarkson came up.
You know that feeling you get when you're having a good run? Your legs are bouncing and you are just moving through space smoothly? Like you're flying! It was fantastic! I ended up sprinting/running fast about four different times. My lungs definitely aren't at what they were a few years back when I was running further and faster but it felt like freedom, like flight! I finished my run 2.66 miles in 27.28 mins. not my fastest time ever and definitely not my furthest distance ever but still one of my most memorable runs. A run that make me think again "Oh! I'm a runner!"
It feels good to be back! (and I hope I stay back!)
PS: I'm not saying the Nike app is the reason I had a great run, rather it was just part of my experience!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Old Poems
So a friend of mine inspired me to try and start writing again and in the process of saving my writings I came across a file full of poems I wrote in highschool. Most of them I think eventually end up with me talking about God which is to be expected, but I just came across this one and I remember writing it even though I don't exactly remember the circumstances. The last couple lines to harken to a "Him" ie God...but I was actually quite moved by what my 17/18 year old self wrote.. I'm curious to know what you two think!
Being Blind
How do I put this?
How do I say this?
Who am I to turn to?
Where am I to go?
I’m feeling a strong restlessness in my soul
I wanna run and scream but instead I’m sitting here hiding
Where is the peace that you promised when things go wrong?
Where is the love that is supposed to abound?
It seems like I can’t see past my nose today
All I wanna do is curl up and cry
I didn’t want to see things get so complicated
But now they are out of control
So many things are twisting through me and I’m trying to get a strong grip
But how am I to know if I’m right?
Oh I know I’m right but I feel so alone
I’ve been rejected, shot down and pushed away
Only because I’m standing for the truth am I set aside
And now every other pain seems to be torn open again
And though healed it had never been
I hide my hurt and ache with a smile of excitement of a whim of anger
Oh please bring to me peace and not endless torture
Bring it together, bring it and make it all right
But not today or at least not now
Stretching my mind to things of old and my heart swells
And tears are on the verge
Please hold me for I have no strength to hold onto anything
I want so much but I need only unconditional love
So all my friends may abandon me but He’ll remain true
For even sorrow cannot separate me from His love
Which right now I see so faint
Day by day
Keep me from being blind
Being Blind
How do I put this?
How do I say this?
Who am I to turn to?
Where am I to go?
I’m feeling a strong restlessness in my soul
I wanna run and scream but instead I’m sitting here hiding
Where is the peace that you promised when things go wrong?
Where is the love that is supposed to abound?
It seems like I can’t see past my nose today
All I wanna do is curl up and cry
I didn’t want to see things get so complicated
But now they are out of control
So many things are twisting through me and I’m trying to get a strong grip
But how am I to know if I’m right?
Oh I know I’m right but I feel so alone
I’ve been rejected, shot down and pushed away
Only because I’m standing for the truth am I set aside
And now every other pain seems to be torn open again
And though healed it had never been
I hide my hurt and ache with a smile of excitement of a whim of anger
Oh please bring to me peace and not endless torture
Bring it together, bring it and make it all right
But not today or at least not now
Stretching my mind to things of old and my heart swells
And tears are on the verge
Please hold me for I have no strength to hold onto anything
I want so much but I need only unconditional love
So all my friends may abandon me but He’ll remain true
For even sorrow cannot separate me from His love
Which right now I see so faint
Day by day
Keep me from being blind
Saturday, February 9, 2013
On the contrary
I heard talk about opposite day but I suggest we institute a contrary day. It would go something like this . . .
"On the contrary I don't feel like waking up at 5:15am and meditating. I think I will sleep in instead."
"On the contrary I don't want to do yoga; I think I will walk around barefoot instead."
"On the contrary I don't want to study all day and try to catch up on my readngs. I think I will watch an old TV show while cooking yams and squash."
"On the contrary I don't feel like being strict paleo today. I am going to my local Starbucks instead."
"On the contrary I don't want to do laundry . . . "
I think you all get the idea. Plus a contrary day is versatile. Not only can it apply to exercise but other activities as well. These days are also excellent in promoting a bumming-it lifestyle that helps avoid such irritating activities such as showering, combing hair, and listening to the news. They increase well-being by allowing for self-expression while decreasing anxiety from trying for perfection.
All around Ann recommended.
Whatcha all think?
"On the contrary I don't feel like waking up at 5:15am and meditating. I think I will sleep in instead."
"On the contrary I don't want to do yoga; I think I will walk around barefoot instead."
"On the contrary I don't want to study all day and try to catch up on my readngs. I think I will watch an old TV show while cooking yams and squash."
"On the contrary I don't feel like being strict paleo today. I am going to my local Starbucks instead."
"On the contrary I don't want to do laundry . . . "
I think you all get the idea. Plus a contrary day is versatile. Not only can it apply to exercise but other activities as well. These days are also excellent in promoting a bumming-it lifestyle that helps avoid such irritating activities such as showering, combing hair, and listening to the news. They increase well-being by allowing for self-expression while decreasing anxiety from trying for perfection.
All around Ann recommended.
Whatcha all think?
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
You Inspired Me
Yesterday, you two inspired me.
I've been really tired the past week and a half. Last week I was pmsing and then Saturday my period started and with that I haven't been sleeping well for about a week now. So yesterday I went into work and was SO tired I was scared I was going to make a really horrible mistake (like poke myself with a needle or drive off the road). Thus, I decided to leave at 8am and go home and rest.
I was able to nap some...but even after my nap I felt SO tired and tried napping a second time a bit later, to no avail. I ended up coming out to the living room and reading both of your blogs and felt so inspired. I brought up my YogaGlo account and found a session on 'binding' poses with a shoulder and hip opening component. Although it was a very interrupted session (trying to set up handing in our applications for a house we saw on Sunday so calling the real estate agent, talking to Eugene) and I didn't even finish it (had probably 15 mins left)- it felt so good to get moving. Unfortunately, the hard thing for me (other than being tired) is that my hip is still very tentative, but none of the poses seemed to aggravate it and in fact really warmed me up. Sometimes it is hard for me to tell when movement is best for my hip and when rest is best.
Today, after a good nights rest, I can feel the benefits of that practice. I also feel the benefits of calling into work and getting that good nights rest my body so desperately needed. Why is it so hard to do something like call into work (when you're not puking your guts out)because you simply need rest and to take care of yourself? I think for me its a mixture of guilt (don't want to leave my co-workers stranded) and also anxiety about that people will think of me.
Regardless, I'm VERY grateful to have today. Perhaps today I will do a little more yoga :-) I've already given myself a nice face mask. Wish you could join!
Thanks again for the inspiration my dears! This blog is such a help in keeping me motivated, but also keeping me connected to you both.
*hugs*
I've been really tired the past week and a half. Last week I was pmsing and then Saturday my period started and with that I haven't been sleeping well for about a week now. So yesterday I went into work and was SO tired I was scared I was going to make a really horrible mistake (like poke myself with a needle or drive off the road). Thus, I decided to leave at 8am and go home and rest.
I was able to nap some...but even after my nap I felt SO tired and tried napping a second time a bit later, to no avail. I ended up coming out to the living room and reading both of your blogs and felt so inspired. I brought up my YogaGlo account and found a session on 'binding' poses with a shoulder and hip opening component. Although it was a very interrupted session (trying to set up handing in our applications for a house we saw on Sunday so calling the real estate agent, talking to Eugene) and I didn't even finish it (had probably 15 mins left)- it felt so good to get moving. Unfortunately, the hard thing for me (other than being tired) is that my hip is still very tentative, but none of the poses seemed to aggravate it and in fact really warmed me up. Sometimes it is hard for me to tell when movement is best for my hip and when rest is best.
Today, after a good nights rest, I can feel the benefits of that practice. I also feel the benefits of calling into work and getting that good nights rest my body so desperately needed. Why is it so hard to do something like call into work (when you're not puking your guts out)because you simply need rest and to take care of yourself? I think for me its a mixture of guilt (don't want to leave my co-workers stranded) and also anxiety about that people will think of me.
Regardless, I'm VERY grateful to have today. Perhaps today I will do a little more yoga :-) I've already given myself a nice face mask. Wish you could join!
Thanks again for the inspiration my dears! This blog is such a help in keeping me motivated, but also keeping me connected to you both.
*hugs*
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Crazy downward dog life
Life has been overwhelming. Super full with innumerable transitions. Yesterday I found out I had a new job after a week of painful waiting. Today we bought a car. Tomorrow we celebrate Tian turning one with our neighbors. And so on.
This sisters' blog helps me settle in the evening and reminds me there is life outside my busy life. It reminds me my life can have more of a rhythm in the near future. It encourages me to do small activities that build up into a lifestyle of movement.
I play chase with my son as I crawl after him in the kitchen.
I push Tian around in his cart and call it my cardio for the day.
I look up as I pick up my twenty pound bugaboo and think core, not back. Then put him down as he squirms out of my arms. Then up again. It's my strength training.
At night I stretch and do downward dog to plank and finish with a one minute plank to collapse in exhaustion. Some nights that is. Others I mop on the couch or fall into bed.
Its my downward dog crazy life. It'd rather have more yoga than crazy but I'm living with both now.
Hopefully my gradual transformation blossums into more internal space to breathe. Breathe with all kindness to myself allowing me to pick gentleness and fun.
This sisters' blog helps me settle in the evening and reminds me there is life outside my busy life. It reminds me my life can have more of a rhythm in the near future. It encourages me to do small activities that build up into a lifestyle of movement.
I play chase with my son as I crawl after him in the kitchen.
I push Tian around in his cart and call it my cardio for the day.
I look up as I pick up my twenty pound bugaboo and think core, not back. Then put him down as he squirms out of my arms. Then up again. It's my strength training.
At night I stretch and do downward dog to plank and finish with a one minute plank to collapse in exhaustion. Some nights that is. Others I mop on the couch or fall into bed.
Its my downward dog crazy life. It'd rather have more yoga than crazy but I'm living with both now.
Hopefully my gradual transformation blossums into more internal space to breathe. Breathe with all kindness to myself allowing me to pick gentleness and fun.
Falling in love (again)
Exercise and I had a long dry spell. Exercise was often guilt-inspired or resulted in disappointment in my reduced performance. A common occurence was me going for a run grumbling most of the time of how much further and faster I used to run. Or doing yoga and swearing I was less flexible than the previous session.
Slowly I am looking forward to exercise all over again. Like today I had a yoga session where my whole body felt rubbery and relaxed at the end. Later on I went for a run and my left ankle felt surer, my stride springier, and two miles did not feel like a death sentence. Plus I am fantasizing about my next NTC workout and how buff I am going to get.
So what brought about this gradual transformation? (And dear god will it stay?)
I composed a list of ten possible influences:
1. Damned persistence. I have a spreadsheet of my weekly schedule that includes exercise. I highlight the run/yoga session/NTC workout when (if) I complete it that day. Trust me, there are a lot of un-highlighted ones. Yet having those times scheduled and the reward of highlighting kept me going multiple times.
2. Easing up. Thanks to both of you I stumbled across that notion that I don't have to do all out every time I work out. This concept resulted in me slowing down some and noticing to finer points of posture, form, and, perhaps, even the scenery?
3. Enjoying myself. I noticed last summer in Chicago that some runners looked absolutely miserable. I thought, "hell, if I am going to run I am going to enjoy it." Although I can't always stick with that commitment, I try to remind myself of it when I am getting particularly grim (think gritting teeth).
4. Paleo diet. Now that I am on the paleo diet for almost a month the nutrition (think not sugar) is likely helping my body recover and care for myself as well as sustain more intensity.
5. Options. Moving to Martinez means that every run does not have to include a steep decline/incline. Sure I can do hills but I can also run along a street or downtown area or by the water. Places where I feel less need to amp up on the energy. I have a gym treadmill at when it is dark out. Also I have three different versions of yoga hour of power and a multitude of NTC workouts.
6. Vanity. Yes sometimes it comes down to wanting to look good or try to look my best. Question: is a yoga body ever obtainable?
7. Others. Knowing that others around me are exercising gets me in the mood. Like my colleague who just ran a marathon or a friend that does crossfit. Or sisters that exercise.
8. Meditation. All of a sudden while trying to do a downward dog lunge, I heard my disatisfied grumbling around lack of improvement. Then I started to listen to my dialogue, while still yoga-ing. Gradually I was able to feel a little friendly toward my discontent while trying out warrior pose 3.
9. Identity. Sometime in Arizona part of my identity became that of a runner. I wasn't ready to give up on that yet.
10. Sister's blog. This place gives me a spot to reflect and share about my experience in exercising. And also makes it so I want to have something to blog about!
Slowly I am looking forward to exercise all over again. Like today I had a yoga session where my whole body felt rubbery and relaxed at the end. Later on I went for a run and my left ankle felt surer, my stride springier, and two miles did not feel like a death sentence. Plus I am fantasizing about my next NTC workout and how buff I am going to get.
So what brought about this gradual transformation? (And dear god will it stay?)
I composed a list of ten possible influences:
1. Damned persistence. I have a spreadsheet of my weekly schedule that includes exercise. I highlight the run/yoga session/NTC workout when (if) I complete it that day. Trust me, there are a lot of un-highlighted ones. Yet having those times scheduled and the reward of highlighting kept me going multiple times.
2. Easing up. Thanks to both of you I stumbled across that notion that I don't have to do all out every time I work out. This concept resulted in me slowing down some and noticing to finer points of posture, form, and, perhaps, even the scenery?
3. Enjoying myself. I noticed last summer in Chicago that some runners looked absolutely miserable. I thought, "hell, if I am going to run I am going to enjoy it." Although I can't always stick with that commitment, I try to remind myself of it when I am getting particularly grim (think gritting teeth).
4. Paleo diet. Now that I am on the paleo diet for almost a month the nutrition (think not sugar) is likely helping my body recover and care for myself as well as sustain more intensity.
5. Options. Moving to Martinez means that every run does not have to include a steep decline/incline. Sure I can do hills but I can also run along a street or downtown area or by the water. Places where I feel less need to amp up on the energy. I have a gym treadmill at when it is dark out. Also I have three different versions of yoga hour of power and a multitude of NTC workouts.
6. Vanity. Yes sometimes it comes down to wanting to look good or try to look my best. Question: is a yoga body ever obtainable?
7. Others. Knowing that others around me are exercising gets me in the mood. Like my colleague who just ran a marathon or a friend that does crossfit. Or sisters that exercise.
8. Meditation. All of a sudden while trying to do a downward dog lunge, I heard my disatisfied grumbling around lack of improvement. Then I started to listen to my dialogue, while still yoga-ing. Gradually I was able to feel a little friendly toward my discontent while trying out warrior pose 3.
9. Identity. Sometime in Arizona part of my identity became that of a runner. I wasn't ready to give up on that yet.
10. Sister's blog. This place gives me a spot to reflect and share about my experience in exercising. And also makes it so I want to have something to blog about!
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Keep it up!
There are moments when exercise seems glorious -- like when I go out for a run and feel like I am flying. Or when I am doing a yoga pose and suddenly melt into it. Or when I punch a bag until my muscles feel exhuasted.
Other times exercise feels blah.
Now I am not a fan of exercising all the time if it is miserable. I am a supporter of joy in every area of life. But at times I find exercise is worthwhile even when I feel uninspired. Like today I did not have an inspirational yoga hour of power. It was more a yoga hour of sour. I found myself distracted, irritated at my lack of progress in many poses, and missing a lot of dear Darrell's instruction. I finish and my body feels good but it wasn't anything to write home about.
Or maybe it was.
I know such feelings have been expressed before. For me, the heroic is in keeping on when the inspiration wears off. I thoroughly enjoy those moments of gusto and enthusiasm but now I treasure (ok maybe that is too strong a word) . . . give a respectful bow to? . . . those moments of drudgery. And those moments when I, too, am a lot less then inspiring. Such a relief in some way!
So here's to those moments of boredom that give way to new possibilities. And, hey, maybe it's ok not to try my absolute hardest in every exercise endeavour.
Other times exercise feels blah.
Now I am not a fan of exercising all the time if it is miserable. I am a supporter of joy in every area of life. But at times I find exercise is worthwhile even when I feel uninspired. Like today I did not have an inspirational yoga hour of power. It was more a yoga hour of sour. I found myself distracted, irritated at my lack of progress in many poses, and missing a lot of dear Darrell's instruction. I finish and my body feels good but it wasn't anything to write home about.
Or maybe it was.
I know such feelings have been expressed before. For me, the heroic is in keeping on when the inspiration wears off. I thoroughly enjoy those moments of gusto and enthusiasm but now I treasure (ok maybe that is too strong a word) . . . give a respectful bow to? . . . those moments of drudgery. And those moments when I, too, am a lot less then inspiring. Such a relief in some way!
So here's to those moments of boredom that give way to new possibilities. And, hey, maybe it's ok not to try my absolute hardest in every exercise endeavour.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Reflections post a long-desired trip
One week since my last full day in Oaxaca. Since Eugene, Ann, and I spent the night downtown on the rooftop of a restaurant by Santo Domingo with Tammi and Nash. It is hard to believe that something so long awaited as my visit back to Oaxaca feels like a dream. I think that is what I find most difficult about visits home and being so far away from home. At least that is what I have found in the past to be the hardest. That changed this time. This time that was only part.
I never considered that, after spending three years away, I would return to Oaxaca and feel so distant. The place that use to feel just right, so familiar, felt like something I was watching through binoculars.
I know that usually when I return home it takes me about a week to re-adjust to being there. I have to remember to put the toilet paper in the waste basket, not the toilet, not to drink the tap water, and to get use to being whistled at/cat called frequently. Interestingly enough, those things weren't nearly as prominent this visit.
Perhaps it was the busy-ness of the time there, or the fact that Eugene came along, or the fact that we were in a different neighborhood and not even in the house with the parents, whatever it was- I remained in something of a dream-like state the entire visit.
But what I found most surprising was that I would find myself thinking about Tucson a lot. At first it was more stress of having to return to a crazy schedule but then it turned into an actual missing, a longing, to be back in Tucson. Something hard for me to admit and to actually recognize because Oaxaca is home, isn't it? While I'm here I shouldn't be missing somewhere else.
I started to come to terms with that, as much as I love Oaxaca, it is becoming more of my past. Not that I won't always want to return there, for I could never not love Oaxaca. And not that I don't still miss it and will frequently long for its streets, smells, and tastes. But rather, as I have changed and moved on in life, such has my relationship with the place I used to call home. It is difficult for me to describe exactly what this change is, all I know is that it is somewhat uncomfortable and I feel rather resistant to the change.
Only time will tell what this change will bring. I feel hopeful though. Part of me is saddened but another part of me feels freed to not feel quite so tied to Oaxaca.
I'm curious as to what your feelings/reflections of your time in Oaxaca!
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