Art as a spiritual path

"The Creative Source welcomes the engagement of everyone, not merely some privileged class of artists. It is mother & father, nurturer & supporter of all beings, & welcomes all of us to wake up to life's abundance. Our engagement with art leads us to engagement with our bodies, spirits, and with each other." -Pat B. Allen

Joy lent me this wonderful book call "Art as a Spiritual Path." In true Hope-fashion, I have been slowly working my way through the book and am enjoying the process.

The author talks about setting an intention with your art and how the images that you create are manifestations of your inner wisdom. The way you connect with this inner wisdom is by connecting with the "Creative Source." She also talks about letting a piece of art run its course. In other words, don't rush your art work but rather let it be a process. If that means the process is one hour, one day, or one year, let it be a process. In light of that, I came back to a poem I wrote one night when I was in Portland this past fall (on of the nights I couldn't sleep). It still really resonates with me and I realized that there is more there than just a poem. I've had this painting sitting in my living room for about a month now. It's half finished and I haven't been able to quite figure out what else to do with it. Now I think I know it has something to do with this poem I wrote. We shall see.

I would like to share my poem with you but first, a quick comment on the quote at the beginning. I find it very warm and welcoming to read, especially the part about art not being merely for some privileged class of artists. It opens up the possibility for art to be so much more than just a painting on a canvas. Art is more than the end product. It is about the process, the connecting with the "Creative Source" and finding you inner wisdom, being nurtured, supported, welcomed, and connected to yourself and to others.

I love you both and hope you enjoy my poem! It has no name so I'll just launch right in.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Never before has there been a more
ripe time for creation.

Never before has there been a
re-surgence of life.

Fly. Dance. Drive (Drive fast!)

Do lo que sea para hacerte sentir-
esa libertad del alma. De tu corazon
Aunque lo hagas 'mal' o lo hagas
'bien'-hazlo.

The world cannot, should not tell you how
to contain yourself, how to create yourself.

Open those doors of your soul that have
been closed for so long.

Move-through-the-rain. With or
without the Umbrella.

New Movement

My dear sisters! I wanted to share a little about my recent 'fitness' 'exercise' experience. As you both know, the past few years have been a struggle/challenge due to back/hip pain, and most recently, getting sick a lot. Well, I have to say that, over the past month things really have been looking up. I'm elated that I can run a couple miles and not be in pain/stiff for a week after. (Thank you Joy for encouraging me to go to a chiropractor). I'm excited to be able to move again without pain (most of the time!).

In light of my increased ability to move, I've had new movement Epiphanies! These epiphanies are related to listening skills and then applying said listening skills to body movement. Its amazing to me how I can think I hear someone/understand what they are saying but then realize that I'm not because I'm SO focused on what I think is going on and what I think is the answer. Example; Joy was helping me with some math questions for a job application while I was in Portland, and I remember one question in particular she was trying to explain something to me. I was so determined that she didn't get that I understood/knew it already that I didn't really listen to what she said. Ok well, eventually I did ;)

I've had this experience multiple times since, but there are two distinct instances that I wanted to share. One instance happened while Ann was here in Tucson. We took a basic yoga class and the instructor helped me with cobra. Cobra has always been a little confusing/challenging for me anyhow but I thought I had figured it out. But when the instructor helped adjust me, there was this little moment of 'aha this is how its supposed to feel,' followed by 'ahh shit, this means I have to start from square one.' Which I'm doing and it means my cobra does not look as impressive as I was thinking it was ;) (hopefully as cute as the little doggy though!) but the movement feels different-like something is starting to click and fall into place in my body.

The other experience I had was a few days ago at the gym with Eugene. I finally got around to doing dead lift again and Eugene was refreshing my memory on form. He watches me do my first set and then proceeds to tell me what he saw and explain the movement. He tells me 'move your knees back first.' Wuh?

So, if you look at the image below, 1. is the starting position, and in order to get to 2. I was using all back strength to get there. This created an awkward movement because my knees would get in the way.

Instead, you're supposed to straighten your knees (or move them back) to get to fig 2. This is something he told me maaaaaany times before when training me, but for whatever reason I just didn't get that the movement starts with your knees moving 'back' and the rest of your body holds still.

After Eugene instructed me again, and was finally able to get through my pre-conceived this-is-what-deadlift-movement-is, I did another set and what a difference! All of the sudden the movement felt SO much more natural and not awkward like before. (No worries if my explanation is confusing about the dead lift movement :P).

Sometimes its the little things, and the little adjustments that make all the difference. Like learning that cobra is about upper back and relaxing the low back/glutes and that deadlift is about a small movement of the knees going back first. Of course, this can extend to every day life such as; taking a shower first thing when I wake up so I feel like I'm actually starting my day, instead of staying in jammies and feeling unmotivated. Here's to small but powerful changes!

I believe I began to run...

I just wrote this poem. Its more just a rough train of thought put in 'poem-fashion.' I was reflecting some on childhood and my general interest in flight and dance and this came out.


I believe I began to run for more
than just to be skinny

I began to run because it was the
closest I could get to flying, to freedom

I began to run porque mi mama
no quiso que yo bailara

I ran for space from the oppressiveness
of my life

I ran because it was the one thing
I could do

Running was the last drop of independence
and creativity in movement
I had left

Running was as much my savior
as it was my illness
but perhaps not

Perhaps it was a light
a quick fix to get me
through to the next thing

Like a temporary bandage
until the stitches

But the removal of the bandage,
hurt.

I ran today

I ran today. It was nice. Despite the phlem-coated lungs and the tired self, I went a little over 20 mins. It was the most beautiful sunny day and felt invigorating to move! My cushy new adidas shoes were great cushion and as I ran I thought 'squeeze butt, squeeze butt.' My Chiropractor would be proud, and I think she is on to something because I notice a difference from walking & running with I focus on my glutes. Hopefully its just the tip of the ice berg. For now, I'll content myself with the occasional 20 min run.



After running I did my 'tribute to the psoas' class done by Tiffany on Yoga Glo. The first time I did this class about a year ago it opened up my entire world. A body part I knew little to nothing about was/is a big part of my back pain. Yet,I have neglected to take this class regularly.

Thus...my plan is as follows; every time after I run (at least for awhile) I do my 45 minutes psoas opening class. I hope this aids in recovery and enables me to run more.

If I woke up tomorrow and knew that I could never run again...

I'd be very very sad. But I'd be ok. Its something I've gone back and forth about. While being here in Oregon I've really wanted to run but it hasn't been a possibility since, towards the beginning of my visit, I threw my low back out.

A week or so ago, in my yoga class, my instructor said to think of something you are deeply grateful for and I had to choose my ability to move and do yoga. Yes, its incredibly discouraging and frustrating to have all these set-backs, but I'm still able to go through a super intense 60 or 75 min hot yoga class or hop on the eliptical and sweat it up. I am also able to pick up my not-so-teeny nephew and spin him around, or race him up and down the street.

So yes, running may not be something I can do again,to the extent I'd like, (or maybe I will!!!) but I'm super grateful for everything else I can do.

And...one day, maybe I'll run here ;)

Keeping on

I thought about our blog the other day and realized I didn't want it to go defunct. Hope, I like your idea so much, and I feel that we ongoing care we can continue the Sister's Log. And, hey, that's a lot like keeping up on your exercise routinue, no?

In that spirit, I was looking back in these past years and wanted to share a brag. The YMCA race results for the latest (last year) for my 5k:

 Division: Women - 30-39

       1. Brooke Roberts, Richmond, CA                32    0:22:11   O'All:     2
       2. Ann Eberhardt, Martinez, CA                 30    0:27:56   O'All:    10
       3. Fina Prak, Hercules, CA                     32    0:29:26   O'All:    14
       4. Gabriela Ruiz de Mejia, Richmond, CA        31    0:33:07   O'All:    23
       5. Heather Kulp, Richmond, CA                  37    0:33:27   O'All:    24

Yup, I got second place in my division. I had never placed before, so I was surprised when the following week my co-worker Shannon came in with a medal for me.

Also, another piece to share is my joining a yoga studio -- well a trial membership for a month. I have been to about 20 classes in the last three weeks. I have done hot yoga basics and then the full hot yoga class -- so sweaty. The pose that I find the most ridiculous is the (half) lotus. You lay on your belly on the mat while smooshing your arms under your body with your palms on the mat. If that is not awkward enough, you are then supposed to lift both legs in the air while your lips are squashed down on a soaked-with-sweat yoga mat.  You follow me?

The best part about joining the studio, other than then natural high from unnatural body contortions, is facing a fear. I had looked into joining the studio when I moved here now years (!) ago but felt too intimidated to go. I was so nervous when I made it inside the first time, that I could barely fill out the form. I managed to start the next day in a basics class and then began to eagerly explore the options, running home after class to check the schedule for the next day. It gave me a place, outside of my apartment, where I could feel a degree of safety and consistency.

Today I will probably go to a yin class -- which, for Yoga Sol, basically consists of laying on the mat with your legs drapped over the rounded cushion and sandbags for pressure on your feet. So relaxing.

Getting Back in the groove

It has been quite awhile since I have last posted. I haven't had anything overly enlightening or inspiring to share so I guess that might be why I haven't written. But, I thought it would be fun to just share my latest routines and such!

I have been doing quite a bit of yoga lately. I LOVE Yoga Glo. It has been key to my recovery with its classes specific to runners and also just low key classes to help me to SOMETHING after work. It can be hard, when I come home after work exhausted, to want to do anything. Even if I do a very low key yoga class I feel accomplished.

I have also been doing weight lifting with Eugene! He has showed me some of the lifts he does; dead lift, squat, & bench press. I have to admit that, among everything that I do, this is probably my most challenging activity. I feel like I have to walk into a man-cave in the weights area and also feel just unfamiliar with the equipment. I have done a couple solo workouts but I have decided to try and go at least once a week and to go with Eugene (its about all we can do anyhow). That way I feel much more comfortable and can be with him while I get use to being in that space. I do hope to continue doing this kind of working out while in Oregon! I feel so strong- I went up to 115lbs for a squat on Sunday! :-)

Running!! I am running about three days a week. Last week I felt like I needed a little break- I ran a total of about 6 miles (my average weekly mileage is 7-8 miles). Joy's most recent post was a good reminder to KEEP listening to my body to avoid injury. I have a new funny feeling in my body and am trying to make sure I take care of it and don't over do it (its calve-calf? related). Yesterday I ran four miles!! I am really loving developing my new relationship with movement. I feel like its an old friend that I had been distant from in awhile and am now getting to know it again with a new perspective. For instance, I use to HATE doing much speed work. It actually made me anxious. But now I find myself wanting to just GO and I do a lot of it (I think that is thanks to the strengthening)- and I don't see it as work but rather as a moment to run free, to fly.

That is the jist of my active activity (with a little Jazz and other dance every now and again).

I really appreciate this blog and also just conversations with you both about exercise. I feel so lucky to have you both and Eugene in my life that love movement. I is continually encouraging.

Keep up the good work my lovelies!!!

PS: here is a fun and goofy picture of me pretending to do yoga at the forest preserve in Oregon :-)